In My Blood
I was writing against the men in my family,
But I remembered—not all of them were like that.
I had the good fortune of being guided by a few good men;
Rare examples of humility, generosity, and strength.
For them, I’m grateful.
And yet, when I look around today,
I don’t see men who live up to what being a true man means.
Time has revealed who the impostors were.
Once their masks fell, they exposed their corrupt nature.
Everyone wants to have kids—
No one wants to be a father;
To be greeted with hot food and leave without a thank you,
Or even washing the dishes.
There’s a curse in the blood of the men in this family—
My family.
Those who fathered, were born, and arrived.
Idiots. Cowards. Selfish.
Or, as we say in my country: webones.
A bunch of webones.
Vampires!
They sucked the youth out of the women in my family.
Leeches!
They drained them of every last drop of strength.
Wolves who came in like sheep,
Wearing the costumes of compassionate men.
Foxes! Foxes!
They stole the joy from these women.
They took their children, spoiled them,
Turned them against their own mothers.
They forgot that the word “father” comes with more duties than perks.
And these shameless men use their gods
To justify their lack of manhood.
Wretched sons of the devil.
One bad man was all it took.
Just one.
One who let other bad men in.
One who never raised good men.
One who didn’t defend the mothers in his house,
Who didn’t protect the girls in his home.
They came in like thieves in the night,
When the paladin lay drunk in his bed.
They came long before they ever arrived.
Not on the wedding day, as we once imagined—
But years ago,
When the women cried over their absence,
When the women cried from their abuse.
Now, the sons of these mothers—
We don’t know how to be good men.
We carry in our blood their bad habits.
Their curses.
I have in me
The worst and the best of them.
I must be careful, vigilant with myself—
My actions, my thoughts—
To keep my future from becoming their past.
To keep my mother, my sisters, my aunts, cousins, and grandmothers
From seeing them in me.
To keep my children and grandchildren
From ever having to write this about me.
