Perverted Church*

You celebrate those who meet your requirements and blindly follow your process
You condemn those who publicly state they're not on your side
You honor those who behave well inside your temple
And you conspire against those who have abandoned you
I didn’t realize how dangerous your obsession was
With those who fiercely defend your cause
Did you forget it was never about your cause?

You shaped men and women into your twisted image
You led them down the path of appearances and crude standards
Where it's more important to learn how to preach the Bible than to learn how to live it
I wish you knew how to teach people to live it
And to live it like the One who taught us how to live by living Himself
Not like those who want to “suggest” how we should live
You forgot to teach them they are human, and that they are nothing without His love!

You were so focused on exalting leaders and planting ideas
Caught up in the business of erasing identities and making them dependent on you
That you forgot to teach them that honor wasn't blind submission to you
That they needed to be brave and raise their voice when they found no justice in you
To set healthy boundaries with you and with those who crossed the line
You were afraid to teach them to think for themselves, to question everything, and to seek the truth in Him
But no, you needed them to find the truth in you.

You didn’t care to ask their parents about their vile behavior at home
You didn’t care to ask their friends about their repulsive behavior
You didn’t care to see how they treated strangers when no one “important” was watching
Your eyes were on the lost ones you could turn into soldiers
Not on the lost ones who had nothing to offer your cause
Tell me, did you heal them out of love or out of interest?

A pastor needs sheep to be called a pastor
A sheep needs a pastor to be cared for and guided.

Now your subjects believe that maturity is a status in your pyramid,
A stupid place near the pulpit or close to an “important person”
Now they believe they must Do in order to Be
They believe that stuffing themselves with your activities makes them better
Better than before? Or better than others?
I used to think they were growing for and because of Him
Now I think they do it to satisfy the vanity of men
Out of competition, to see who gets to the “important places” first

You made them believe that maturity is to fully surrender to you
You brainwashed them and now they think they are someone because they serve you
If you saved them from themselves and from the perverse world
Then what did Christ do?
If salvation and approval now depend on your many requirements
Why do we need Jesus?

Oh perverted church!
I'm so angry with you
Because I trusted you, I trusted your judgments and your wisdom
I trusted your ways, dear church, but in chasing your approval, I got lost
And I lost sight of the One I was truly looking for

I know you began as a crusade of love full of good intentions
I understand you're full of men and women corrupted by evil, like me
You're trying to do the best you can with what you have, like me
That many times you make mistakes, you fall and rise again, like me
But…
You don’t ask for forgiveness; instead, you justify everything in God’s name
You don’t renew your mindset, you only change what’s visible on the surface
You don’t expose your sins, nor do you allow your subjects to be exposed
Wasn’t everything supposed to come to light?

Oh perverted church!
You captured my attention, my eyes and my heart
You took away my ability to decide
And worsened my ability to trust in what God placed in me
You stole my identity and attached it to yourself
So that I would find my worth in your many activities

But God is not an institution, a temple or a denomination

I’m angry, upset and offended with you, dear church
But my thoughts are no longer chained
And today I no longer feel bad for thinking differently, for thinking freely
Today I can surrender these evils of my heart to the One who truly holds the truth
The One who can turn my turbulent doubts into strong convictions
The One who does not condemn or punish doubt, questioning, or disagreement
Today I want His truth, the one that builds and confronts, that heals and corrects
Today I want the One who says to me, “Come confidently. Climb and keep climbing”

This is definitely not an absolute truth, not even my absolute truth
Just a perspective
But who am I to speak of this?
A simple human trying to be like Jesus
Who can think, feel, question, and learn
Who has earned nothing, has no authority or followers
Just a human being loved by Jesus
And though I haven’t stopped believing in You
I must heal my eyes to see Your Bride the way You see her
To be able to see myself the way You see me
And to be able to see You as You truly are

To pervert (verb): To corrupt customs, faith, or taste with bad doctrines or examples.